How to Say No Plus-Ones on Your Website and RSVP

The kindest way to say no plus-ones is to name every invited guest on the envelope, put the number of seats on the RSVP ("We have reserved 1 seat in your honor"), and answer it once in your wedding website FAQ. Then set up the RSVP so nobody can add a guest unless you've given them one.

If those three places match, most guests never need to ask. Below is wording for each one, in a few different tones, and what to do when someone writes in a name anyway.

TL;DR:

• The envelope does most of the work: names only, never "and guest".
• On the RSVP, state the number of seats rather than writing "no plus-ones".
• On the website, answer it in the FAQ, in one or two warm sentences.
• Partners you know about are invited by name. They aren't plus-ones.
• Set each guest's plus-ones to zero in your RSVP, so the form can't add one.

First, decide who's an exception

Before you write anything, list the people who do get a guest. Spouses, fiancés and partners who live together are usually invited by name, so they're on the list as guests in their own right. Your wedding party is a common exception. So is a friend flying in alone who won't know anyone else.

Write the rule down in one sentence, like "partners we've met, plus the wedding party." You'll use it in the FAQ, and you'll repeat it to whoever asks. If you're still working out the rule, our guide to plus-one etiquette has a decision table.

On the envelope

Guests read the envelope before they read anything else. Address it to exactly who's invited.

"And Guest" is the phrase to avoid if the answer is no. Once it's on the envelope, nothing on your website will undo it.

On the RSVP

Say how many seats you've reserved. A number reads as a fact about the invitation, while "no plus-ones" can read like a rule aimed at the person holding the card.

"We have reserved 1 seat in your honor.""We have reserved __ seats in your honor." (fill in the number by hand on each card)"Kindly reply by May 1. Your invitation is for the guests named on the envelope."

If your RSVP is online, show the same number on the form. An online form that asks "Will you bring a guest?" on a card that said 1 seat starts exactly the conversation you were trying to avoid.

On your wedding website

Guests check the website when they're unsure, so put it in your FAQ and phrase the question the way a guest would ask it. Pick the tone that sounds like you.

Can I bring a date?

Warm:

"We'd love to celebrate with everyone, but our venue has limited space, so we're only able to welcome the guests named on your invitation. Thank you for understanding!"

Short:

"We're keeping our wedding small, so we can only accommodate the guests named on your invitation."

Light:

"Our venue's fire marshal has very firm opinions about headcount, so the guests named on your invitation are the only ones we can fit. We can't wait to see you!"

With exceptions:

"Because of space, we've given plus-ones to our wedding party and to married, engaged and live-in couples. Everyone else is invited on their own, and you'll know plenty of people there!"

Two things to keep out of the FAQ: the cost per head, and the word "unfortunately". Both make it sound like a complaint about the guest.

Pro tip: don't add a separate "No plus-ones" banner to the top of the site. Guests who were invited with a partner read it, worry, and message you to check. The FAQ is enough.

Setting up the RSVP so nobody adds a guest

Wording only goes so far if the form still has a "+ add guest" button. Whatever you use, check these before you send the link:

• Each guest's allowance is set individually, and it's zero for anyone without a plus-one.
• Partners are separate named guests, linked to the person they're invited with, so one of them can reply for both.
• Any open sign-up link, like a save the date that collects addresses, has its own plus-one limit. It's easy to forget this one.

In WhiteClover, every guest on your list has a "Plus ones allowed" number. Leave it at 0 and the reply form won't let them add a guest. Set it to 1 for the exceptions, and they name their guest on the form, so you know who's coming. Sign-up links have a max plus-ones setting of their own, so set that to 0 too if the answer is no. It's all part of the free wedding RSVP.

For US guests, send the invitation and reminders by email or put the link in your own texts. WhiteClover's text messages don't reach US or Canadian numbers.

When someone writes in a name anyway

It happens even with a clear envelope. On a paper card, "2" gets written where you printed "1". Usually it's a misunderstanding, not a test.

1. Reach out privately and soon, by phone or text, not in a group chat.
2. Keep it about the invitation, not the person: "Just checking, the invitation was for you on your own. We've had to keep numbers tight. Hope that's OK!"
3. Don't make an exception for one guest that you'd refuse another. Word gets around at weddings.
4. If they decide not to come, accept it kindly and update your count.

The steps are the same ones that work when a guest RSVPs their children to an adults-only wedding, which we cover in how to say adults only.

Common mistakes

• The website FAQ says no plus-ones, but the online RSVP offers one. Guests believe the form.
• "And Guest" on the envelope for a few people, with no rule behind it. Everyone compares envelopes.
• Inviting a long-term partner as "a plus-one" instead of by name. It reads as if you've forgotten them.
• A save the date sign-up link with no plus-one limit, sent months before you'd decided.

Frequently asked questions

How do you politely say no plus-ones on a wedding website?

Answer it in your FAQ under a question like "Can I bring a date?": "We'd love to celebrate with everyone, but our venue has limited space, so we're only able to welcome the guests named on your invitation."

How do you say no plus-ones on an RSVP card?

State the number of seats: "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor." It's clearer than a rule and harder to misread.

Is it rude to not give plus-ones?

No, as long as partners you know about are invited by name and you apply the same rule to everyone. Most guests understand that a venue and a budget have limits.

What if a guest adds a plus-one to their RSVP anyway?

Contact them privately and quickly, explain that the invitation was for the guests named on it, and keep it kind. Then update your count, whatever they decide.

Should a long-term partner be a plus-one?

No. Invite them by name, as a guest in their own right. A plus-one is an open seat for someone the guest chooses.

Recommended

• Wedding Plus One Etiquette: Who Gets One
• How to Say Adults Only, and When Kids RSVP Anyway
• Wedding RSVP Wording: 30+ Examples
• How to RSVP as a Family or Group
• What Percentage of Wedding Guests Decline?