Dutch Weddings: Day Guests, Evening Guests, Borrel

Lucía and Daan are a pretend couple we'll follow through one Dutch wedding day. Lucía is from Valencia and has lived in Rotterdam for six years. Daan grew up in Utrecht. They're marrying at Rotterdam's town hall on a Friday afternoon, then holding drinks, a dinner for about 60 and a party where 90 more people join from half past eight.

To Daan's family that's an ordinary plan. They know exactly what it means to be a daggast (a day guest, there from the ceremony onwards) or an avondgast (an evening guest, invited to the party). Lucía's aunts in Valencia won't have seen an invitation that starts at 20:30, and the first draft of the guest list nearly made every one of her friends an evening guest by accident. This guide is for couples running a Dutch wedding with guests who don't share the Dutch assumptions.

TL;DR: Decide who is a day guest and who is an evening guest with one rule, word each invitation as a real invitation, and explain the split once to guests from abroad.

• In the Netherlands the civil ceremony must come first. A religious ceremony can only follow it.
• By law you can marry from the 14th day after giving notice, and notice lapses after a year, but municipalities set their own booking lead time. The Hague asks for at least 12 weeks. You need 2 to 4 witnesses.
• Our rule: anyone travelling from abroad is a day guest. Nobody should fly in just to arrive at 20:30.
• Make the feest your main event and set the ceremony and dinner so only your day guests are asked about them. Evening guests then only answer for the party.

The shape of the day, and where each guest fits

Here is Lucía and Daan's day. Yours may move the pieces around.

The order of the first part is set by law. Article 68 of Book 1 of the Dutch Civil Code says no religious ceremony may take place until the couple has shown the officiant that the civil marriage has been performed (wetten.overheid.nl). If you want a church ceremony too, it comes after the town hall, on the same day or later.

Then there's the ceremoniemeester, a friend or relative who runs the day for you: they brief suppliers, keep the timings and answer guests' questions so you don't have to. In Lucía and Daan's case it's Daan's sister Fenna.

Daggast or avondgast: one rule for the whole list

Deciding name by name is where the split goes wrong. Agree on a rule, then apply it to everyone.

Couples tend to forget the travel rule. A guest who books a flight from Valencia, Manchester or Toronto has given you a weekend. An evening invitation for them means four hours of party after a day spent in a hotel room, so make them day guests even if that pushes someone local to the evening.

A partner who lives with a day guest is a day guest too. For single guests, our guide to wedding plus one etiquette has a rule you can repeat to anyone who asks. British couples have the same split under another name, and our UK evening guest rulebook answers their questions on food, gifts and the first dance.

The town hall: notice, witnesses and 2026 prices

The law sets the earliest date you can book, so start here. The national rules are in the Dutch Civil Code (wetten.overheid.nl). You give notice of your intended marriage (melding voorgenomen huwelijk) to the municipality, and the wedding can take place from the 14th day after that notice (Book 1, article 62). If you haven't married within a year, you have to give notice again (article 46). You need at least 2 and at most 4 adult witnesses (article 63).

Municipalities then add their own lead times. The Hague asks for notice at least 12 weeks before the date. Giving notice there is free, and moving the date is free the first time and costs €180.95 the second time. The Hague also says that if neither of you is registered at a Dutch municipality and neither of you holds Dutch nationality, you can't marry in the Netherlands. Ask your own municipality how far ahead it wants you.

Each municipality sets its own ceremony price, and they vary a lot. These are from Rotterdam's 2026 price list (fees as of October 2026):

Rotterdam lets you move or cancel free of charge until 4 weeks before. Don't treat the free Monday slot as a dress rehearsal, though: not turning up costs €136.70.

Check the guest limit for your room before you write "everyone is welcome at the town hall" on an invitation. The 14-day minimum, the one-year limit and the witness numbers are national. Lead times, prices and room limits are set by each municipality, so check yours.

How to word the two invitations

Nobody wants an evening invitation that reads like a consolation prize. Give the time, say what happens, and never apologise for the size of the day. Below are lines to copy in English and Dutch, with the Dutch written the way a Dutch couple would put it.

Day guests

EN: "We're getting married! We'd love you with us for the whole day: the ceremony at 14:00 at Rotterdam City Hall, drinks, dinner and the party afterwards. Please reply by 1 April."

NL: "Wij gaan trouwen! We zouden het geweldig vinden als je de hele dag bij ons bent: de ceremonie om 14.00 uur in het stadhuis van Rotterdam, de borrel, het diner en natuurlijk het feest. Laat je vóór 1 april weten of je erbij bent?"

Evening guests

EN: "We're getting married, and we're celebrating with a big party. Come and dance with us from 20:30 at the venue. Please reply by 1 April."

NL: "Wij gaan trouwen en dat vieren we met een groot feest. Kom je met ons dansen? Je bent vanaf 20.30 uur van harte welkom op onze feestlocatie. Laat je vóór 1 april weten of je komt?"

One line for international guests, added in their own language wherever the split might confuse:

"We're doing it the Dutch way: a small ceremony and dinner, then a big party in the evening. You're invited to the whole day."

Or, for an evening guest from abroad, if you really must:

"The ceremony and dinner are very small, just close family. The party is where everyone comes together, and we'd love you there."

More reply wording ideas are in our RSVP wording examples.

Pro tip: Give your ceremoniemeester (for Lucía and Daan, that's Fenna) the full RSVP list a week before the wedding: who is a day guest, who arrives at 20:30, who's vegetarian. With the answers exported as a spreadsheet, she can answer every "what time do I come?" message without phoning you.

Explaining the split to guests from abroad

Lucía's family doesn't mind small dinners. They've just never come across the idea, and an unexplained 20:30 invitation looks like a mistake.

Explain it once, in their language. One sentence on the invitation and one answer on the website is enough; repeat it everywhere and it starts to sound like an apology.

The website can be in their language too. A WhiteClover wedding website lets you write each section in Dutch, English and Spanish, and guests switch to the one they read. You write each version yourselves, since there's no automatic translation, which also means the tone is yours. Put the day's timings and the "why is the dinner small?" answer in the Q&A section.

Daggasten, avondgasten and one RSVP page

Day and evening guests are two lists that keep changing until the last week. On paper that means two sets of envelopes and two spreadsheets that drift apart the moment someone moves from the evening to the day.

In WhiteClover the ceremony, dinner and party are three events under one wedding. The feest is the main event, because it's the one everybody attends, so its date and the party venue are what guests see first when they open the save the date or the wedding website. The ceremony and dinner each ask only the day guests you've added. Every event has its own questions, so day guests choose a meal and evening guests answer for the party alone. The multi-event RSVP walkthrough goes through it step by step, and families can still reply together as a group. Build the two lists on the guest list page, then watch both fill in on the wedding RSVP dashboard.

FAQ

What is the difference between a daggast and an avondgast?

A daggast (day guest) is invited from the ceremony onwards, usually including dinner. An avondgast (evening guest) is invited to the party only, which starts later in the evening.

When do you have to give notice in the Netherlands?

By law, the wedding can take place from the 14th day after you give notice, and the notice lapses after a year. Municipalities set their own lead times on top of that: The Hague asks for at least 12 weeks. Ask yours.

Can we have a church wedding before the town hall?

No. Dutch law says a religious ceremony may only take place after the civil marriage has been performed.

Is a Dutch town hall wedding free?

Some municipalities offer a free ceremony at set times. Rotterdam's is on Monday mornings at the town hall in 2026, between 09:00 and 11:50.

Recommended

• Multi-Event RSVP: One Weekend, Three Events
• Wedding Plus One Etiquette: Who Gets One
• How to RSVP as a Family or Group
• Wedding RSVP Wording: 30+ Examples
• How to Manage a Wedding Guest List Efficiently